Last night, I found myself ranting at my kids.

My son hadn’t eaten the muffin in his lunchbox because it had berries and chocolate chips — and apparently he only wanted berries. The food thing… again.

I was hungry (not an excuse), and I could feel myself escalating. I said I wouldn’t make muffins anymore.

No response.

So, I went further. Said I wouldn’t bother with healthy food at all.

That got a half-hearted reaction, and then they went straight back to whatever they were doing.

They didn’t really care.

And the thing is — even as I was saying it, I knew I wouldn’t follow through. Well… maybe I won’t make muffins again. But realistically, I probably will.

So why did I say it? I think I wanted them to care — because I care.

But it made me realise something else.

If I actually want to be heard, I probably need to say things in a way that someone wants to listen to.

Not louder. Not more extreme. Just… differently.

In a way that connects with what matters to them, not just what matters to me.

And I suspect that’s not just a parenting thing.