I had a coffee recently with a high-profile figure in my community. I was grateful for her time. At one point, the conversation drifted into her previous life as a politician. She was talking about her current role and the need to engage with a new government — a different political party to the one she had been affiliated with. She said she had reached out somewhat cautiously, and was surprised by how quickly they agreed to meet with her.

Their response was simple: “You were always really kind.”

She pulled a face when she said it, almost uncomfortable with the idea. She admitted she hadn’t always felt kind.

But that was how they remembered her.

She also reflected that finding work after politics hadn’t been particularly difficult for her, while others had struggled. And she thought a lot of that came down to the relationships she had built over time.

The way she had treated people.

It made me think about how much kindness matters in ways we probably don’t always realise.

Not performative kindness. Not being agreeable all the time.

Just treating people well.

Because long after people forget the details of a conversation, or a disagreement, or even a role we once held, they often remember how they felt around us.

And maybe that matters more than we think.